Thursday, July 19, 2012

On the 'Context' Couch - Again

      Boy, oh boy,  I just NEVER learn.  I had a plan.  A few things I wanted to share today.  In fact, I may still try slipping in a visual - as they say in the biz - that we can consider 'Coming Soon!'s. 
      I always have SOME form of background noise going when I write and, usually, it's a low-volume news-all-the-time station because our beagle, Bridie, likes to keep up and, if I happen to pick up word that Assad, Vlad - any ONE of the 'rumblers' seems to be REALLY 'starting something', I can cruise into an impromptu closure since  there wouldn't be any point, as it were. 
In truth, that is precisely what occurred.  Having had a coif change yesterday that brought my scalp closer to/in near immediate contact with the ambient airwaves, brain was picking up signals that would surely have been blocked pre-mowing of the already scanty tresses.  Caught in a cattle rush akin to a Bloomie's Basement Sale, words started to push and shove, rudely gaining access to the 'hot ticket' items.  Soon, defenseless conscious mind was accosted by 'street fight', Delta Airlines, an image of a sad, elderly gentleman bemoaning the bombing of a busload of innocents in an Israeli border area, dubbed by the somber speaker as a "Tough Neighborhood".
Coming Soon:
"Murphy Cheers The "Bears"

      (The dam burst and the usual crowd of interruptive regulars used the opportunity to provide no relief from indignities, rolling out THEIR cacophonic carpet of medical marauders posing as therapeutic Titans.  Thence entered those maladies - garden variety flavor-of-the-week afflictions - suffered upon us all, dragging with them the panacea posers of which we are to be aware so that we can beware.  Of course, had we been remiss, recourse was a phone call away.)
      On the political scene - peppered liberally with the basic 'stealers' - the incumbent leader stateside was out-cavorting his opponent in the "street fight".  Having borne witness to "The Rumble" so many years ago in NYC, I defer to Stephen Sondheim with advice to the underdog:  "When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way from your first cigarette to your last dyin' day."  Take a cue from your worthy Shark, "Boy, boy, crazy boy! Stay loose, boy!  Breeze it, buzz it, easy does it. . . Go man, go, but not like a yo-yo schoolboy!"
      (CELEBREX:  "A body in motion tends to stay in motion; a body at rest, tends to stay at rest."  But you can count on that ole arthritis to jam your best gavotte.  That's when you 'turn on the juice, boy'.  Celebrex can take the edge off the pain and give it back to YOU.  Of course it has been associated with depression so tell your doctor immediately if you're having frightening nightmares or suicidal thoughts. . .) You-are-kidding!
Coming Soon:
'Pre-season mania!'
      With nary a break in the action, our glum-chum ambassador shared the bleak news of a bus- bombing which, in this "Tough Neighborhood" - a subtitle may be the Mideast - will be taken seriously by Israel.  As luck would have it, the area's biggest bully, Iran, gets a pass on this one because the international rumble scene is fiercely focused on that little hoodlum, Syria.  The Arab community, of course, sides with Syria, ". . . Society's played him a terrible trick and sociologically he's sick. . . Juvenile delinquency is a social disease." 
      As to Iran, our incumbent leader put his gloves back on, handed our Secretary of State a mike and let her loose.  No stranger to 'bad boys', Secretary Clinton cut right to the chase.  In response, the Syrian leader boldly pouted, "Dear kindly Judge, your Honor, my parents treat me rough, with all their marijuana, they won't give me a puff.  They didn't wanna have me, but somehow I was had.  Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad." 
Coming Soon:  Beagles join the Squad!
      So, disgusted with them, she attacked the "Silent Supportive Source", Russia ,with a scathing, "Boy (z) like that would kill your brother.  Forget (that) boy(z) and find another.  One of your own kind.  Stick to your own kind."  And she MEANS it, Vladimir.! "Someone gets in our way, someone don't feel so good."            While we're on the other side of the pond, it was frightening to hear that FIRST CLASS passengers on a Delta Airlines flight were served turkey sandwiches laced with sewing needles yesterday. Talk about not feeling so good.  The flights originated in Amsterdam and were bound for several different US cities.  "Gate Cuisine", the catering service for the airline, is investigating the matter. MMmm. . . Tasty!
      (PRILOSEC:  A flight cabin door opens to begin THIS passive propaganda video.  It delivers a chipper, uniform-clad stewardess, grinning far too broadly while toting a portable display of pill boxes and delivering, "O.K.! WHO gets occasional constipation, bloating and diarrhea?"  As she deftly glides down the aisle, meek and silently-afflicted passengers begin to raise their hands - her cue to jauntily toss her wares side to side.  The passengers don't miss a trick.  Did I tell you I'm getting bored just in the retelling?) 
     
"Coming Soon:  "Can We Play?"
by "The Immigtants"
          Indeed, I was about to turn out the lights and cash it in when the GOA saved the day.  I had occasion to visit the quarters of our government's accounting office during a private tour - smallest office in the building.  But you know what they say about small packages.  It seems in the course of one of their 'general accounting' exercises, it was discovered today that a considerable amount of taxpayer money has been spent operating a U.S. Flight School. 
      To be sure the courses must/need to be thorough as at the completion of their flying lessons, the new alums receive a license to operate a plane.  It was noted by a particularly sedulous accounting employee, that these stellar students included an impressive number of ILLEGAL ALIENS.  Gone was my ennui.  This tidbit was as fetchingly amusing as the timing of discovery was NOT.  Even more arresting, when one ponders the ramifications - even beyond the financial - was the fact that one of the school's instructors was an illegal alien.
      (The programming cut to William Devane, once again telling us how much more secure he feels knowing he owns GOLD.  The world is in a financial chaos and the government is 'printing our way out of it'.  Well, he assures us, "You can't print gold."  WHAT A SHOCK!  William buys his gold from Rosland (just an 'e' short of all those 'razzle-dazzle' Black Bottom frolicking dance-a-thons) a company that gives you "the right gold, right away" and will throw in a safe if you buy now.  "What's in your safe?" is his clever tag.)
      I just couldn't get the immigrants out of my head.  Reverie's a powerful thing and back in the day, in NYC, I can still hear them:
      "Puerto Rico, you ugly island,
      Island of tropic diseases.
      Always the hurricanes blowing,
      Always the population growing . . .
      And the money owing,
      And the babies crying,
      And the bullets flying.
      I like the Isle of Manhattan,
      Smoke on your pipe and put that in!"

      The President's Press Secretary was asked about yet another government 'operation' today - the President's Jobs Committee.  That would be the one that has not met for six months with unemployment still above 8%.  Well, Mr. Carney allowed as how the President has a "lot on his plate."  And yet he found time this week, rushing between those God-awful rubber chicken-dinners, to remind the citizenry of 'whence they come.'  If you own your own business, the formula goes, you did it because you got help from the government.  We - the popular, not the papal - are in this together.                          
"Coming Soon": 
"I Did It My Way"
     
Now for an "All Skate"  finale:
      "I like to be in America!
      O.K. by me in America!
      Ev'rything free in America
      For a small fee in America!"

"Good night, Chet.
Good night, David."


Later, Lorane. . . .

 . .
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